57.

57. The number of hearts to adore, minds to enlighten, and souls to bathe in prayer. 57. The number of names to memorize, smiles to capture, and bodies to nurture. 114. The number of hands to hold, eyes to model Christ to, and ears to speak encouragement to.

Some are orphans. Some are slum kids. Nearly all come from poverty. ALL craving love.

I am 1 person, with only 1 heart, mind and soul. With only 2 hands, eyes, and ears. I’m young, with not much experience. I’m here by myself, without fiancé, family, or friends to confide in. The school has 1 copy machine, which you’re only allowed to make 20 copies on. I have 57 students. School supplies are extremely lacking and technology is nearly vacant. My students do not have textbooks and next to no curriculum. At lunch, students who are fortunate enough to be sent to school with lunches break apart their sandwiches to share with those who do not have one.

Considering these calculations, I’m way over my head. I’m not smart enough, rich enough, or built with enough hands. Not to mention my weakness when it comes to missing home so much it hurts. And this is only week 1.

Sometimes in the evenings, when I get lonely, I think this through. Satan tempts me to despair as he lays out the circumstances of my situation. But just as he is about to have the victory and steal my hope and joy, I remember…

I have God on my side. The maker of the entire universe has completely paved the way for me to be here. The lover of my soul and sustainer of my breath is right here beside me. My hope, joy, and peace can remain because He is near. I CAN consistently shower these precious children with unconditional love, because it’s the same love I get from Him everyday. He is the only one I am dependant on. My knees hit the floor every morning as I plead with Him to fill me up so full with His love, joy, hope, and peace that it pours out from me into the lives of my students. I hunger and thirst for His Words everyday, because I know they alone will sustain me.

It’s amazing what you realize when the things you thought you were dependant on are removed. You come to know that you actually are not dependant on them at all. God is all You need, and He is faithful.

I’m still learning this, and let me tell you, it’s a very hard lesson to learn. Satan tries to bring me down every single day. Thankfully, our God is greater. =)

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.”   - Psalm 63:1-5